If this is your first cruise, you have probably heard a lot of things about cruises. Some are probably true, some are probably not true. For example, if the little pictures that you imagine in your brain when thinking about cruises involve scenes from the movie Titanic, forget it. That is a movie. What you are about to experience is real. The ships really don’t sink all that often. Odds are yours will not.
But there are lessons to be learned from movies just like there are lessons to be learned from television and comic books.
If the ship does hit an iceberg, forget your money, you can’t bribe your way on to a good life boat.
Wear your rubber scuba suit at all times. It gets really cold hanging on to a floating door in the middle of the ocean after the ship goes down.
Buy seasons one through twelve of Survivor and take good notes before boarding your cruise ship
If you have a cell phone signal, call for help. This is not the time to be downloading ringtones.
If a rescue helicopter approaches frantically point to the water and motion for them to come closer..From their point of view it will look like you’re telling them someone just went under. Those people love saving lives and won’t be able to resist coming to you first, Hey, those choppers only hold just so many people!
Here are some myths
You will get bored.
You might get bored on a cruise, but chances are greater you will get exhausted. The range of activities for both the passive and active is wide. I entered (and won!) a trivia contest on presidential history and I entered (but lost) one on old television show theme songs.
My family and I loafed by the pool, danced (well not me) in a nightclub and watched live entertainment. Some cruise ships now have everything from miniature golf courses to wave pools. When we needed downtime we vegged-out in our cabin and screened an in-room movie.
You will have to dress up for dinner.
This is 2007, not 1965. Most of the time you don’t have to be formally dressed for dinner in the main restaurant, although periodic formal nights are scheduled. On a seven-night cruise, there are two.
One can always opt out by going to the buffet or grabbing something quick at the ship’s pizzeria or room service. We ate at the buffet on one formal night, not because we didn’t want to dress up but because we had a late dinner seating and an early docking the next morning.
You’ll get claustrophobic.
You might but its not likely. The cabins are not as big as they look in pictures but they are quite efficiently designed and (I think) pleasant to be in. If being in small spaces is a problem, book an Oceanview cabin with a window or a balcony cabin.
Most cruise lines’ standard cabins range from 140 to 150 square feet; some are as small as 100 square feet. As for the actual ships, they literally are floating resorts, with up to 17 decks and innumerable public rooms. If you feel uneasy on a ship, it is probably not claustrophobia.
Everyone who takes a cruise qualifies for AARP membership.
On our cruise there was a wide mix of singles, seniors, families and college-age passengers.
Coffman says a general rule is, “The more expensive the liner, the less likely it is to have kids on board.” Carnival, Disney and Royal Caribbean are the best for families, she says, with Carnival and Royal Caribbean also being the best for young adults.
Cruise costs are all-inclusive.
They aren’t. The cruise cost includes main meals and entertainment. Drinks, including non-alcoholic ones, are extra. Shore excursions, which can add up for families, are extra.
Grab a piece of cake from a ship pastry shop and you will probably pay extra. Ship photographers are always ready with camera in hand, and the photos are extra. Most cruise lines have trashed the old empty envelope system for tips and switched to automatic service charges.
That’s $10 per day per person, regardless of age.
Cruise shows consist of cheesy, grade-B entertainment.
First of all, the quality of live entertainment is subjective.
On our recent cruise we attended live shows every night We saw two Vegas-style revues, two comedians, an ice skating show and one hypnotist. The talent was as professional and enjoyable as anything we have seen in theaters that don’t float.
Each of the revue cast members could dance and belt out a song. The hypnotist and comedians were laughable, but they were meant to be.
The ships have stabilizers, so you will never feel any motion.
If the water even in the usually docile Caribbean is rough, you will indeed feel motion. For the vast majority of people it is not enough motion to disrupt your cruise, make you sick or anything like that.
Bonine, the over the counter motions discomfort medicine is my favorite to recommend because no one has ever told me “Chris, that stuff did not work and I was sick as a dog the whole time” That’s good enough for me. Get the generic brand of it though at Wal-Mart for a fraction of the price of the name brand.
You have to sit with people you don’t know at dinner and you’re stuck with them.
Nope.
Even if you are on a group cruise you can request a different dining time, smaller table, or specific location. Dining room requests, though, are just that: requests. The cruise line does not guarantee anything in that area. The Maitre d’ on the ship, though, is the king of the dining room and can make any of your requests reality. No matter what, going to the dining room to check your table assignment when you first get on the ship is a must. If you don’t like it, there will be a Maitre d’ there who can change it if you are nice about it.
If you are a jerk they probably won’t change anything and will put a little note by your name with a skull and cross bones for the kitchen staff to see. Ok maybe not but a few bucks in the right palm can be one of the best investments you will make on the cruise.
Everyone gains a ton of weight on cruises
True in some cases. But it mainly depends on what you choose to eat. I choose to eat everything and always gain weight. Silly people dont gain weight, eat the healthy food choices and jog around me while I lounge about on deck. I feel sorry for them.
Called a big win for everyone who sails on cruise ships departing from a United States port, the US House of Representatives passed legislation today that will escalate efforts to make both passengers and crew safer at sea.